USRAH 4: REFLECTION

 As-salāmu ʿalaykum.

    So supposedly, I have to share my biodata. but I think I have shared those in one my previous posts. I thought I wanted to do something different, However, I figured maybe the person I was 3 years ago when I wrote that the post under About Me is definitely not the same person you would know if you meet me today. So, let me introduce myself again.

  I am Husna Azzakiyah Binte Muhammad Haniff. When I was younger, I rarely meet anyone who shares the same name as me - Husna. This name is quite unique growing up in Singapore. But when I enrolled into IIUM, I quickly realised that my name is way too common in Malaysia. Once, I ordered a drink at Mosha during peak hour and when they called out "Husna~", there were at least 3 Husnas including myself who thought that our drink was ready. I had to admit I was confused for a while. Basically, that is how I decided to go by Azzah instead.

     Anyway, since we have officially entered 2021, I will be turning 24 this year. Not that young, huh? haha. But within this past year with COVID-19, I guess it has in a way forced us to grow up exponentially. COVID-19 has been tough, and with all the uncertainties, it has definitely made me doubt and question myself a lot. Now, as I reflect about the past year, the best part of all is that I am proud to know I am stronger mentally, spiritually, and physically than ever before. Duhhh, when have we ever been forced to ensure that firstly, we stay healthy to avoid the virus - secondly, we have to remain patient and positive with the uncertainties of when things will get better - and thirdly, we rely the most to Allah for His protection, mercy and wisdom ALL AT ONCE?! 

    On the flip side of the coin, in one of the Usrah sessions, I was reminded of a best lesson that would put all my struggles and challenges throughout this period to rest. It was only one verse but is impactful enough. It was the very verse mentioned 31 times in Surah Ar-Rahman.

    It suddenly hit me that there were times I was busy thinking about all the possibilities 2020 could have been if COVID-19 never happened. I was busy thinking about how 2020 lacked many things that would have been so much better if COVID-19 never happened. But all these is so wrong. I had failed to realised that 2020 was only 1 year out of the 23 years I have lived that Allah had decided to test me. It is so insignificant when compared to all the other 22 years Allah has granted me with all the things I am deprived from right now. So am I being fair to deny all the favors Allah has bestowed upon me for these 22 years over merely 1 dreadful year??

    With that, I hope I can start 2021 with a new outlook in life and a better attitude in approaching what is bound to come my way. I pray the best for everyone greatly affected by 2020, for everyone who lost their loved ones to this virus, for everyone hanging on by a thread but trying their best nonetheless and the whole ummah in general that we all can pull through this pandemic being better versions of ourselves. Amin.

    This shall be my final post and as I type my last few sentences, it feels bittersweet - like I am saying goodbye to a dear friends as we part ways not knowing when our paths will cross again. We shall meet again.

Signing off,

Azzah.